Books change lives. Just like education, they open doors, they bring awareness, they expand horizons. That’s what makes them seem so dangerous to those who would rather keep the masses on the straight and narrow. The amount of people fooled by fake news and AI pictures, many of whom don’t actually mind that they’re lied to, the renewed attacks on queer—especially trans—and women’s rights, the unabashed racism and antisemitism constantly resurfacing, all of that is a testament to how easy it is to manipulate and brainwash when your target doesn’t know better and has no easily accessible way to know better.
In Gay the Pray Away, narrator Natalie Naudus’s debut novel, the book that makes seventeen years old Valerie realise nothing is wrong with her—but a lot is wrong with her upbringing—is One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston. A book that, in real life, Natalie Naudus narrated beautifully (despite Valerie’s love interest, Riley, offhandedly stating that “The narrator is alright”). In an interview published on the Audible blog, Naudus explains: “One Last Stop was actually a book that made me come out come out, because I had been narrating a lot of indie queer fiction. And I really wanted to narrate One Last Stop when I saw it announced, and that was the first time that I emailed someone, and I emailed a producer at Macmillan and said, “Hey, I am bisexual. I’m Asian American. Can I please audition? I think this book might be perfect for me.” But that I came out because I wanted to narrate that book. So that was really special for me.”
Valerie is also bisexual and Asian American, and these aren’t the only things Naudus shares with her main character. She too grew up in a cult. While Valerie’s experience is very unlike hers, “the setting and the cult are very much lifted straight from [her] childhood”. Every time I felt like something Valerie’s parents or friends said or did was implausibly exaggerated, I reminded myself that the author knows exactly what she’s talking about.
Natalie Naudus is one of the most popular narrators of sapphic fiction and for good reason. She’s excellent, and she’s also very fun and interesting to follow on social media. And now she’s also an author. You know that feeling when one of your friends releases a book, or invites you to their show, and you hope extremely hard that you’ll like it because it’ll be awfully awkward if you don’t? I’m not friends with Natalie Naudus, but I had that same fervent hope that I’d enjoy her debut. And you know what? I did! Very much so. By choosing to make it YA and writing it in first person, Naudus allows Valerie to embrace her initial naivete, in a way that confers considerable weight and power upon her journey to find herself, to find Riley, to find love and freedom and the whole wide world.
Not only is Valerie’s story told with sensitivity and tenderness, the narration is perfect. That was expected, but still, you can’t predict for sure whether the emotion of reading one’s own book is going to get in the way. Natalie Naudus, however, avoids all the traps. Just an example of how good it is: Riley yawning had me yawning too. It might sound trivial, but it shows how immersive and real the narration is. 4.5⭐️
Experience Gay the Pray Away:
Libro.fm (audiobook)
Bookshop.org (paperback)
Kobo (audiobook – ebook)
Amazon (audiobook – paperback – ebook)
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Jude in the Stars 